I can read people's life's and figure out the truth about them with out them telling me how their life is

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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I forget I turned the toaster on and jump when it goes off.

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Try to time the traffic light so that when I snap, my light turns green. Always so so close.

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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Put a few bits of toilet paper in the toilet before having a poo so there is no splash!

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Wait until my significant other is in shower and then let loose the longest, loudest fart that's been building in me all night and pray it's muffled by the mattress and the covers.

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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when your professor describes their wife or husband you imagine their wife or husband.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When light goes off and cant see digital clock numbers when you are trying to sleep/wake up, i scream and get terrified because i think i got blind

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If i read or see something good (on tv )the next time i daydream i am always some how involved in it

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when i watch a movie, and a character in it gos underwater, i hold my breath with that person until that person gets above water, then i let go, either that, after the character comes up from the water, i still hold my breath until i cant take it anymore.

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Sometimes I reflect on my life and just feel humiliated.

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When having a flog in the shower I keep checking the door to make sure noone walks in

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When buying anything - a book, pint of milk, food, pen - will go to put down the first one you picked up to find a newer one.... Then feel really bad for the other one you put down and go back to that one so it doesn't feel hurt.

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humiliating little girls

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You think someone is reading your mind and hurriedly change what your thinking to something normal

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Look in the fridge 10 times without eating anything

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Ur mum

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When sitting on the pot I whip and then I feel like I have to crap again.

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Look to the right, and see nothing. Look to the left, and see nothing. Look to the right again, and see the chick from the ring (or some scary shit) standing there.

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see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

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Smoking in the shower.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.