I set my alarm clock early just so I can get up snooze it.... One, two, three, maybe even four times.

Sometimes I look at a digital clock and try to force the numbers to change with the power of my mind.

When I'm listening to my ipod on a road trip I look out the window longingly and pretend to be in a music video

I always feel a little twinge of regret when I see "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service," because I know it's a lie.

I think people especially my parents, can hear my thoughts

Change the channel during commercials when you have the remote, when you don't you go insane and say "TURN IT BACK WE'LL MISS THE START!!!"

Whenever another person sitting next to me at school doesn't push their chair in when they get up to leave, I do it for them because it looks more orderly.

Sometimes, I skim through the Terms of Service just to make sure I'm not selling my soul or promising my first-born.

I'm constantly struck with this odd sensation that I didn't wipe my ass well enough.

Tap different rythyms with my fingers and keep doing it over and over until the rythym ends on the last finger

Get that shiver when you're peeing.

A song comes on that you hate but you sing with it anyway because you know the lyrics

sometimes, i smell my own farts.

while talking about someone, immediately fear they are somehow listening

I hold my boobs if I'm running upstairs and not wearing a bra.

sing really loud to songs in the car, but stop when people are right next to you at stoplights.

when singing to music on my ipod, i sometimes pause the music to hear how loud I am singing.

I cover my webcam on my when I fap in fear that someone/something is watching.

In the shower, or just when I'm alone, I imagine having confrontations with people in my life and play out the entire conversation by myself, lip syncing the words with emotions and all.

When I'm opening my locker lock, I try to beat the person next to me.

Stare at people until they notice, and when they notice watch them out of the corner of your eye until they turn.. and then you continue staring

When no one is around I make sound effects for everything I do.

I rape small children ;).

Laugh softly when you hear someone else cry

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.