I always twist my washcloth into a cone shape, so when I take my next shower it is dry and hardened. Then I pretend stab it into my stomach and say "MY LIFE FOR AIUR!" before getting it wet again.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

SOMETIMES I SHIT ON MY HAND.... IN THE SHOWER

thumb_up thumb_down -3

feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Realizing that when you look behind a shower curtain before using the bathroom and actually see a Serial killer, you have no plan...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Think that a movie is shorter after you watch it once or twice

thumb_up thumb_down +14

When I look at a digital clock, i try to rearrange the number to make them a math equation

thumb_up thumb_down -80

When I was younger I would image a band that played the songs on the radio that was strapped to the roof of the car during long car rides.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

As im about to fall asleep sometimes i feel like im falling and then i have a muscle spasem and wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Mentally preparing yourself to step on a crunchy-looking leaf, only to discover it is in fact soggy, soft and unsatisfactory.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

Give your neighbors names from movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

When in a public bathroom stall and having to take a number 2 i wait until there is nobody else in there to let it go and also exit the stall.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Having small fingers and, regardless, still unable to click on the right thing when on the internet with a touch screen phone.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Sometimes when im sitting in class i start thinking how i would save the whole classroom if someone was to come in with a gun and start shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Pee sitting down so I dont have to aim

thumb_up thumb_down +67

feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Dip my pizza crust in my soda

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Get annoyed when I'm working on something and someone who's looking at funny pictures wants to show me every single one. Then I do the same thing when I'm looking at funny pictures.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Walking around store and store clerk asks are you finding everything ok..and you reply yes and you...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Try to pet your cat with your foot.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

wear warm clothes on hot days -jesse

thumb_up thumb_down -82

When I hear a sound that I don't know what is, while I'm in an unfamiliar place, I wipe off and then touch as many surfaces as possible. It makes me think that if I'm taken by some scary person, my fingerprints will be easily found. I'm not sure why that would help in many cases, but it makes me feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down -132

When I get photographed with a flash and afterwards there is that little greenish dot in my vision, I keep trying to look at it directly, although I know that it's impossible

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Pee in the shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +68

eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.