Chewing your chips softer so you can hear the tv

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sometimes i poop in my pants and like the smell of my poop. Smells like whatever i just ate.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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We keep a spare key hidden outside somewhere in case we are locked out

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Refreshing captcha codes for five minutes straight until you find reasonably legible letters.

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get really freaked out when your in a parking lot and the car next to you starts backing up and you think your moving forward.

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Feels my beard with my tongue.

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I DO wish I had the ability of the guy in the comment below me. Moral: Yeah I have to type moral down here, because its awesome and because whatever its awesome!

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Listening to my iPod with other people walking by me or sitting near me and feeling mysterious and cool.

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taking your t shirt or sweatshirt off quickly so nothing gets you while its over your face

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Point your finger to the sky when your favorite song comes on in the club or the radio

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When I'm riding in the car, I'll spot a tree, make it my goal and try to beat the car on the opposite side of the road to it. (Seriously I don't think anyone else does this!)

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Only taking half a biscuit because it makes you feel bad and then taking another half of a different biscuit.

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I like asking my wife how her SIMIANS are doing (the sims 4) because its fun watching her try to hide the fact that it annoys her. Nero, now if you thought Moral Man the Friendly neighbourhood r*pist was bad... Well, thumb me down I dare you! Seriously I totally did not have a certain bitch turkish hacker put a tracker on my laptop si I can find out where you live... And pay some guy to break your kneecaps... I only done it twice though... Here on horsehead network :) Third time is a charm ;) NERO: Actually I paid people five times, the fourth did not do his job, so I pay a fifth to FINISH HIM! (Sometimes I think people on craigslist just like to kill for the fun of it, seriously, eighty bucks?)

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Wish that illegal Mexicans would stop driving drunk without insurance and crashing into legal citizens who pay taxes and insurance leaving us with a debt in medical bills so that we cant afford physical therapy.

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Turn volume down on iPod or tv, then turn up one bar to make it seem like it's still loud.

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You pretend to fight imaginary people while no ones looking:/ But you look like the star wars kid...

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when someones child falls and cries while you walking through town and you laugh to yourself

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Stab myself on a daily basis

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Feeling stupid when you're watching a funny movie and you laugh by yourself. So you look around and stop laughing.

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Think that some minutes feel shorter than others

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When I drive I sing really loud and then when a car come up next to me I pretend I wasn't singing

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When I use the bathroom at school, I keep the door open with the kickstand and use the stall. It's because I fear that one day, when I'm all alone in the bathroom with the door closed, the fire alarm will go off and scare the living crap out of me. This trick backfires when someone comes in without closing the door and uses the urinal.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.