Become paranoid that this is not the real world, and instead is some coma induced dream.

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Try to imagine every couple I see having sex.

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use any nearby window's reflection you walk by to check on appearance.

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cut corners when walking not because it's faster, but because it's more efficient

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I wipe the part of the glass or water bottle i drink from

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use the restroom at a different floor/building when taking a dump at work.

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use my phone as an alarm clock for waking up. but sets the time in PM instead of AM.

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Get distracted during fap dreams and thinking of your mom and then going OMG GROSS OH GOD IM A PERV!!

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get bored so I fist myself for money

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scream after your in the ooh part of achooh when you sneeze.

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I always open up another tab on my browser, just in case I accidentally exit, so my computer can warn me that I will close 2 tabs.

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I precisley fold toilet paper , so that I can unfold it and use the other side

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I really like taking shits.

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gh, whistle or hum while on the toilet for a long time, just so anyone outside the door doesn't think I'm mastrubating.

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apparently you turn or twist everything to tight like a sink or a bottlecap ect. "i cant open the bottle of fu***ng coke becase you "

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When you can't use your hand to push a door, kick it and say "THIS IS SPARTA!!!"

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Checking your phone for a text when you know you don't have one. Matt

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Wasting a whole bunch of time trying to find how to make one and realizing it was at the top and that you forgot what you were going to put in the first place.

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Think about past screw ups, then cross my eyes thinking to myself "I'm such a F---ing retard."

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Wonder what I would have said to my dad if I knew he was going to die

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sit on the toilet when taking a crap and play my iPod or laptop at the same time for something to do.

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Wait 2-3 seconds with anticipation whenever a baby falls for them to cry.

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Listening to music---You HAVE to grind you teeth along with the song.

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Sing really loudly and think you hear someone come in. yell "hello" for five minutes before singing again.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.