Sometimes, when I'm alone and it's dark outside, I like to cover my body in petroleum jelly and pretend to be a slug.

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I have a feeling that life is a Video Game for another Universe. When the player looks at their computer screen, they see what I see. They control everything I do. Like The Sims games. Everyone else is either other players in a multiplayer server, or they are are all fake, computer players.

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When reading something on the internet highlighting the words, they don't even have to be what you'r reading just highlighting large sections of the article at random.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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Feeling like no one really "knows" me, but only what they already see/know. Most things about me my family don't know about.

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I play video games with the controller under the covers.

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Sometimes when I'm watching a sitcom, I get distracted from the jokes because the characters are in a bedroom and I start focusing on the awesome stuff they have.

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While waiting for my food ot cook, I'll wash the dirty dishes that I used so that I don't need to wash lots of dishes after I eat.

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I often think I have the greastest taste in everything

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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When I drop something, I stand there and watch it fall, I stand still because I'm afraid that I'll maybe mess up something else, instead of picking it up quickly. Am I the only one? ;)

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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act like a giant/dinosaur while eating broccoli xD

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Listen to song and think of a great montage that would go with it.

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While making yourself something to eat that takes more than 5 minuets to make. Pretending that you have your own show on a cooking station and talk like your talking to the audience the whole time.

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Play call of duty then go around shooting everyone in your mind for the rest of the day

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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Sometimes when I'm sitting next to someone I start thinking stuff about him/her, making fun of their clothes in my mind or something. Then I have a feeling that maybe that person can read thoughts and immediately start thinking about something else, and avoid eye contact until one of use leaves

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When playing Sims, i spend more time building my house, than playing the game itself.

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Poop naked.

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I make a mental note NOT to buy the product or service if I feel they are trying to brainwash me with their ads.

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I pick at my cuticles when I'm bored.

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If two cars towing boats were to crash into each other, Would that make it a boating accident?

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If I turn in a circle I have to turn the other way to balance it out and feel even!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.