At home stay on the toilet a few minutes after you finish your business

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I don't like to sit with my back to the door incase someone or something sneeks up behind me, it's even worse with headphones on.

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when you are waiting for something to load, you go "please,please,pleas,please,please,please...." and the when it finally finishes you yell "YES!" OF COURSE, ONLY WHEN YOUR ALONE.

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I plan to put money away everyday but never seem to do it.

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When i'm eating small, colored foods like skittles or gummies, i have to have one on each side of my mouth so one side doesn't feel happier than the other and they have to be different colors.

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do a fake cough when my shit is falling in the toilet

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Whenever I walk through automatic doors I say "Thank You"

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You keep going through pages of "Things You Think Only You Do" clicking the button until you realize that your on like page 50.

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When you sit down to a great dinner with all your favorite foods and then the nanosecond your ass touches the chair you are instantly he most tired and uninterested in food than you have ever been before

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Repeatably look at something ugly, even if it's ugly

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If someone asks me if I want something and they get up to get it and im sitting down, I say " oh I can get it" eventhough they are already up just to not seem like a lazy piece of shit

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Sometimes I just space out for a period of time and completely forget that I'm breathing. Then when I snap out of it, I kind of breathe deeply because I thought I forgot to breathe.

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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When i am bored i go on the internet and i dont know what to do but as soon as i turn off my computer i come up with lots of fun things i could have done

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When watching a video or listening to music, take earbuds out four or five times in repetition to make sure that no one can hear the audio but you, then check them again when someone comes within twenty feet of you. Then, spend the rest of the time feeling awkward and expecting someone to jump out of the bushes and take a video of that idiot with the defective headphones.

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I make a joke and laugh a little but if someone else laughs then i laugh louder

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Fake a yawn to see if other people will yawn back.

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every timee i type a messege to some 1 in chat i imaging what the othe person looks like-jesse

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I can see a magic eye image

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find a nice photograph of food from the web and post it on fb just to watch my retard friends make a big deal out of it.

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feel that the horsehead network captchas can read my mind. kind of scary.

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Change my name on Siri on iPhone to something hillarius and make it say my name

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When writing out something in the air, you mess up so you "wipe" out the mistake and then move to another piece of air because it's "cleaner".

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.