whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

thumb_up thumb_down -64

See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

thumb_up thumb_down -158

when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

thumb_up thumb_down -76

I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

thumb_up thumb_down -69

When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

thumb_up thumb_down +86

Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

thumb_up thumb_down +136

Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

thumb_up thumb_down -69

Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

thumb_up thumb_down -75

ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +148

instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -64

When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

thumb_up thumb_down -65

I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

thumb_up thumb_down -128

While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.