when someone goes underwater in a movie I like to hold my breath and see if I would have survived in that situation, I almost died during Finding Nemo

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Doing something really embarrassing in public and thinking "Doesn't matter, I'll never see these people again.".

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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I scold or point at my electronics and tell them "No, bad!" whenever I push the wrong button or shut them off on accident.

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.