I delete all notifications on my phone before i shut it off.

Abuse your pet when nobody's looking

Say 'WED', 'NES' and 'DAY' slowly in your head when spelling Wednesday.

Dramatically narrate everything I do in my head as I do it.

If I'm home alone, I tell myself good night when I am getting cozy in bed. I even use my name.

Pretend that i don't care about my birthday when i actually can't wait to see what present people will get me and get terribly excited everytime someone text me

close the fridge door really slowly just so you can see the light turn off

Try having a conversation with your friends parents but keep saying yeah the whole time

Have a dream with horribly unfortunate events (like having an amputation or being in prison) waking up from said dream and saying something like, "Good thing that was a dream, don't know what I'd do if that was real"

Wondering where are famous people and what they are doing at this exact moment.

I have one friend I always punch in the shoulder at least once when I see him.

Write things in the air with my finger, and then erase the words with my hand.

I have always belived that I invented calling Target " Tar- jhay"

Peeing in the shower

I never look out the window at night because I'm afraid there will be an Alien staring at me when I move the curtains.

Think a really Fu**ed up thought in your head, and then get mad at your brain for even coming up with it, and finally trying to think really nice thoughts to make up for it.

Math tests-doing all the work for a problem only to find out my answer is not any of the multiple choices.

hurting your foot and running around trying not to think of the pain!

Eat pizza backwards because the crust isn't as good as the cheese part and I want to get that over with.

When I say, "What?" after understanding exactly what someone said.

Someone asks you "what's up" and you awkwardly reply "good".

I wonder if we're actually just dolls and are being controlled by some little girl in her little doll house ....

When I'm home alone I open random doors to make sure nobodys there

draw little triangles while coulouring in to make it seem that theres not so much work -jesse

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.