Sitting on a toilet in a public bathroom and staying silent until everyone leaves, so you do not feel the embarrassment

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When you think about your life then think your parents had to have sex to make you. Then start thinking about all the gross old teachers you've had that probably had sex. Then when you get older your parents tell you about all the times they had sex when you were in the house.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Say to yourself "I really should get that work done" then do nothing about it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

My bedroom is at the end of the house, so when I turn the light out and sprint to the lounge room, thinking Jeff the Killer could get me...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

When I'm in the shower, you think of arguments that can occur, then think of good comebacks to say to your opponent. And when it actually does happen in real life, you don't have the courage to say it.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Pretend to be texting to look popular in public

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When standing in long lines (stores, banks etc..) I think about how other people would react if I puked all over the place with no warning.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

When im alone in my car i talk to myself about lifes issues

thumb_up thumb_down -5

I think any disasterous accidents will not happen to me.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I put a cigarette lighter in a fireplace, anyone else?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I take a dump and then look to see how big it is.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I try to not step on the lines on the sidewalk

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I don't like to meet people when I'm well dressed because that's not me all of the time.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You try to tell a joke to impress everyone and then you mess it up.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Poking my self under the covers just to not falleth asleepeth (t -_-)zzzzzz

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hthe temptation to go up on the roof but when u get to where u go out get freaked and run away

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Sometimes, when I'm at work, I j3rk 0ff in the bathroom. Please tell me someone else has done this????

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Set multiple alarms to wake me up in the morning so I dont just turn it off and fall back asleep

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Sleep in your jeans because you think it feels comfortable in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.