I lay in bed at night with my eyes closed but not asleep,and my mind will tell me that thier is someone standing by my bed,i will think and say to myself,im not looking because thats ridiculous. Then after a 30 seconds pause,have a quick peep.

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While listening to music, I take my headphones off to make sure nobody else can hear it.

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I wonder why the word ISLAND has an "S" in it?

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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Get bored of regular porn and watch some bestiality just for the variation.

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I would try to make my pencil shavings as long as possible.

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Spend a ton of time on the way you look and the clothes you choose, then going out in public and imagining you're a celeb.

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sometimes when i fart i feel like i pooped a little in my underwear but tell myself ''no i didn't'' but feel poopy until i check.

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think about how different my life would be I if I didn't get married

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when u get something right and do a victory dance and the person to u is just like "da hell?"

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Have arguments with yourself about what to wear, where you put that other shoe, whether to get out of bed, etc. Just get up! No, you do it! You're the one who set the alarm! Ughhhhh I hate you!!

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The girl I like has just managed to transfer her consciousness into my mind, now being to hear my every thought and see everything I do. Just. Act. Cool.

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sometimes i mouth improvised, ridiculous sentences in the mirror to see what i look like when i talk to people

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Walk into a public bathroom and go to the urinal, but then stop and think theres some guy who will perv on you and then go in the cubicle.

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Accidently send an empty text or text multiple people and send wrong text to wrong person

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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I think about other women when having sex

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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Fantasize a situation that turns you into a person with superpowers or something.

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I never side with the majority (if given a choice.)

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Try to keep a balloon in the air with out touching the ground, using anything but my hands -Noel

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play on your game for ten minutes before you realise why you stoppedd the last time

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Remove all the stupid gobbldegook words that the captchas from this site add to my predictive text.

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when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.