Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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stare at the same gender for a long time and think 2 urself "am i gay?" and when they look at you, you tun ur eyes another way!

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Here's a fun game I play if I wake up in the middle of the night: I look over at the alarm clock and see what numbers are displayed. Then I shut my eyes tightly and wait a few seconds before opening them again. If I open my eyes and see that the numbers on the alarm clock have changed, I win. If I open my eyes and they didn't, I lose.

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Moisturize "down there" after a really drying wipe session.

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When something says "I have read and agree to the terms of service" I quickly skim through it nd act like I read it.

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Have a dream that you can breath under water and wake up and be very disappointed

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Before drinking the actual soft drink, I drink the fizz as fast as I can.

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I sometimes try to summon things with the force of my thoughts...I would be so useful...but no way, nothing ever moves.

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When you're the youngest child, you never quit feeling like a little kids, even in your 20s.

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when you mouth words (but saying them out loud) when someone can't hear you

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In a meeting at work, you imagine throwing coffee into your boss's face, just to see what he would do.

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I never read the terms and conditions but I say I have

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I can't help but wonder why people write things on web sites and don't bother checking their spelling. Now they look like an idiot no matter how funny or interesting it might have been.

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I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because fuck the NSA.

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Your mom. Just kidding everyone does her.

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I look really handsome in my mirror, only to find myself looking weird in other mirrors, and like a total retard at photographies.

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Back away as much as I can from airplane toilets before flushing them because the noise scares me

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Thinking about different guys and how they would be in bed, then thinking im a slut for thinking it...

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Think of a song, tv show, or movie for a brief moment. Hear/see it the next day.

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i always fall in my imaginations. whenever i think of something, e.g me walking to my room, i'd fall on my way there. what's wrong with me.....

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Drink a huge amount of water only for the pleasure of having your stomach filled with it.

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when my mum buys way too much of something I imagine were one of those 'doomsday preppers' families, with mounds of supplies in our basement.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.