Pretend to talk on the phone when you see someone you don't want to say hello.

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Whenever I look in the bathroom mirror, I fear that I will see a terrible bloody monster standing behind me. I convince myself of this so completely that I panic and rush out right after I pee.

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When Ive just intentionally committed some minor traffic offense (speeding, illegal U-turn) and suddenly worry a cop may have spotted me and act to myself in the car as if I was truly confused and have no idea what I did wrong, like moving my head around and saying, "Huh? Where's that house?"

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I have to fart real bad but people are around me , so I try to silent fart

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I scrape the scum off my teeth with my fingernail and then I eat it.

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Go into a shop that you thought would have some interesting things, but when you find that it dosn't, you quickly browse the shop for a bit so that you don't offend the cashier by entering and leaving immediately.

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I put salt on buttered toast...

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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when i was a kid, i lookup dirty words in the english dictionary as substitute for porn :(

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whenever I lost a tooth my parents would while I slept they would sprinkle caster sugar on the window sill and make footprints in it (tiny footprints)

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when you bleed you suck your own blood

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Have a fantasy where Jesus Christ is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole with a lawn dart while Garth Brooks gives birth to something resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum.

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Sometimes I stay as still as I can and stare at myself in the mirror until it scares me and I freak out about who I am and why I'm living. I have to think of my family and memories to snap out of it.

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Pretend that when you are in the shower, the shower head is a giant machine gun, that takes thousands of men to operate, and that you were an extremely large person and you catch ALL of the bullets in your mouth, spitting them at the shower head while at the same time turning off the water as if they all died, and the small drips that continue to drop out were the dead soldires' blood.....-dillon

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sniff my armpit when somebody says someone stinks and shouts NOT ME lol

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When taking a pee instead of standing in front of the toilet stand in the side so if someone walks in they wont see your penis

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Reading the terms of service :O....

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feel legitimately bad for Wile E Coyote whenever he does not get the road runner

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ASMR

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When I turn the volume up or Down it has to be a number with 0 or 5 in

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Get exstremly sad or depressed whenever you think about something you did that was embarrassing or something you regret infront of someone when that person probably doesn't even remember it....

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That microscopic flying things that follows my eyes' motion, especially when i look up in the sky.

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When I first start dating or seeing someone I write down options for conversation starters before I phone them in case it goes silent.

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When I do a fresh pile of laundry I throw them on my bed and lay in them.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.