I was the real Stig...

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If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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When you are almost crying while laughing in a silent area, you have to think terrible thoughts just to get rid of the laughing.

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make it a point of interest to know every word to a song that nobody likes. (i.e. call me maybe) >.>

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like it when you fart because it scratches your butt when its itchy

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When I Download A Song Or Movie And The Download Speed Slows Down I Think The FBI Is Tracking Me.

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I don't care about who a celebrity dates or marries. Why should I?

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When bored in School, I like to imagine what I would do at that exact moment if a Zombie Apocalypse started.

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Whenever i do something bad to someone I can't stop smiling even though i never wanted to smile in the first place and i feel like people think I'm a terrible person

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When two people in my house are arguing, I stay in my room to avoid awkwardly interrupting them and being dragged into it.

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cover myself in vaseline and roll around on the floor pretending im a slug

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Can't stop tears from comeing to your eyes when singing

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Try to acomplish getting the rest of your meal reaady before the microwave timer goes off.

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Tear up when I poop

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Feeling sorry for inanimate objects

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Press cancel on your toaster before it finishes so that you can eat faster

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Try to stop a stopwatch exactly on 1 second with no extra milliseconds

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Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When I was younger, I would always try to construct some type of car by using the plastic things from Push-Ups as wheels.

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I imagine that there are lines coming out from things and I don't step on the lines (columns, buildings, walls, corners, etc.)

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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Wanting to change your name to Peter Jankins

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.