If im taking a crap in the public washrooms and someone walks in I try to make covering noise as soon as its about to plop.

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Half of these posts are all but "things you think only you do". So is mine

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Every time I miss a gree light by just a couple seconds, I think to myself, "Maybe if I had made that light an out of control semi would be slamming into my car right at this moment." Thank you red light.

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When the good guy in a movie is in a bad situation, I imagine myself doing something different that seems more legit.

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When I am bored and home alone, I sometimes try to recreate the most annoying sound in the world from Dumb and Dumber. (P.S. Sorry if this was already submitted, I didn't see it.)

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I can understand (insert language) but for the life of me I can't speak it.

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i absolutely hate the number nine, and when i told my brother this i was like "sometimes i wish i could delete the number 9" and hes like "but then youd have 9 numbers" and i was like..... "FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"

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Sometimes I think that if we play with dolls, maybe we're just dolls that someone is playing with and creating lives for.

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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sometimes when im in the shower and i hear the slightest bump i look behind the curtains to see if anyone is about to scare me

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Look into your neighbor's house and halucinate someone watching back

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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get annoyed when the pop-up lid on the dish soap bottle is left up

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Try to figure out if some of the posts were written by the same person.

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When I'm walking and I step on a crack with my left food, the next time I step on a crack it has to be my right foot and vise versa. I can't step on a crack twice in a row with the same foot. But I don't have to step on every crack.

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fall asleep in the shower.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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Pretending there is a man running beside you during a long car journey and jumping over obstacles

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I probably am the only one who does this but I climb on my cat's cat tree to see what it's like to be a cat o.o

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Try to think of something nice when then thinks I the scariest things

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Think that everything you do is life is being recorded by secret cameras and you're on a reality show. But you don't actually know. The Truman Show. -Robert

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Think about breathing...

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Pick your butt and then wipe your hand/fingers somewhere hoping that the smell dosn't stick to you and that no one smells it....

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Tap my fingers really rapidly when I'm annoyed, stressed out, fed up or angry.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.