coughing when your having a poo so people know that your on the loo

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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talking on the phone with somebody and then spending 10 minutes or so looking for your phone...

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After peeling an apple, I will put the apple in a zip-lock and hold it through the plastic so my hands won't get sticky while I eat it.

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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Smoking a cigarette on the toilet and then accidentally ashing directly into your panties. Everytime.

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Feel uncomfortable with the TV volume on an odd number

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Avoid as many television commercials as I can

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When you know your alone, you still have to check the whole house.

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My butthole itches, so I fart to scratch it.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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In the summer when it's hot, I bring a fan into the bathroom when I take a crap.

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When i close the refrigiator door, i re-open it and give it a good shove to make sure it tight.

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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when home alone, I sing a song like im performing it in front of a crowd of a thousand people and any object nearby usually becomes my microphone

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I brush my teeth while im in the shower

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Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

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i feel relived after i prick and see that hard-white thinggy that oozes outside my annoying acne.

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I put a small amount of water in glasses and freeze them for hot days when I want a cool drink

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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Think of something really hilarious to put on the internet, read the rest of a post, and then forget what you were going to write.

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Meet a really cool girl imagine the rest of my life with her.

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This song will not come out of my head!

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.