When I masturbate I trade hands often in fear that my penis may become crooked.

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If I'm in my room and I need to fart, I walk into someone else's room and fart in there so that my room doesn't stink up.

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seeing small spots in your eye (dust probably) and then chasing them with your eye trying to catch them

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Act like your on a cooking tv show when your cooking

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Whenever we watch a movie or stupid educational film in school, I sleep.

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sleep with your legs crossed like your meditating.

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Do math in ur head at night to help you fall asleep.

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i always wipe the ketchup off my face with the bread of my sandwich

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I poop on the side of my house in the morning so I do not have to make noise then come back in.

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Turn on Fox News and wonder if I'm watching a bad comedy routine or news reporting.

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Stop in the middle of a walk, then picture every face of every person you saw during that walk and what you were doing just in case a detective or police officer stopped you and asked "where you were at a this time?" or "have you seen this person?"

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When riding in a vehicle at night, where the stars are visible, I feel like they're racing us.

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when I take a big dump I turn around to see how big it is

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Imagining a friend can see everything you do during the day through telepathy.

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Eating a crunchy food while watching tv and turning up the volume little by little until its around 80% because you can't hear over the sound of your own chewing. Then later when you turn back on the tv you scare yourself because it's still at 80% and frantically try to turn it down with super speed before anyone hears you.

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feel special if I don't get thumbs up on my posts

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When I have to use my hands to eat my steak, chew the bones etc (do not tell me that so far this is weird and unusual :P ) I wipe my fingers after each touch => use a whole pack of table tissues :D

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Pour cereal. Realize there is no milk. You really want cereal so you try it with water. Realize that was a bad idea.

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feel disappointed when i find out that a p0rn scene is just the actor's dream or imagination.

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When i'm done sleeping, I wake up.

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If someone uses a term thats like, in the know, and they ask if i know what it means, ill act like, of course ido, even if i dont, and then ill go home and look it up.

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eat the salt from the bottom of the pretzel bag

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Sometimes...when no one is home, i talk and dance with my dog as if he was person :)

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Happy April 28th everyone! Today is the first day of the rest of your lives, a time for new beginnings to run wild, a time to put a final ending to the past mistakes and troubling thoughts that may have been clouding your mind for far too long until now... The time is here, The time is now, Today is the day, Right here, right now, Right this moment, This is the right time... This, IS THE TIME TO DECIDE... To take time to make time, and let time pass by while you try to decide on how you wanna live your life? Falling into the same patterns as time before, and as will be, time after time? OR, simply, you can choose to LIVE... letting yourself have the time of YOUR LIFE!!! =) The choice is yours, what will you decide??? <3

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.