Sometimes when I kill a bug, i wrap it up in a giant wad of paper towels, put it in a plastic sandwich bag, THEN throw it away. just in case...

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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Cringe when remembering something weird about you that happened years ago

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When im out with my dad in the car i swear traffic lights always seem to go to red when were coming

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When you walk across a cross walk and you stretch your steps so it takes one step for each line, yet you still try to look casual because ur in public

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I prefer to go to the bathroom with the door open.

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I HATE minecraft gift codes and the morons who post about them. I wish those morons would get off my planet.

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Reading your facebook posts that you wrote a year ago or more, and think of how stupid you were at that time.

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i answer "why" to questions and then when someone gets pissed i say "when" Hey Jim, how's Mary? Why? Because she's your sister and I care about you. Why? Because you're my best friend. Why? STOP IT! When?

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after i take a poop i stand up turn around and piss on my poop to try to split it in half

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All of my friends go to halloween parties. I still go trick or treating.

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When I see a pregnant woman I can't help but think "she had sex"

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When someone enters the room while i'm playing a game, start playing the best song of the game soundtrack so they notice it and think the game has a cool soundtrack.

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You are thinking of really awkward moments that happened earlier in the day so then you subconsciously say a bunch of random things quickly out loud to get the thought of the awkward moment out of your head.

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when listening to pandora just skip through the songs and hit the like or hate buttons and not listen to the music,but then when you want to listen to the music you can't because theres no wifi

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Walking into a room to do something, and then forgetting what you were gonna do.

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Talking to yourself in your head so you don't seem so crazy.

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When I'm making a weird face, I remind my self to stop before it gets stuck like that.

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try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

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My login password is INCORRECT so if I forget it my computer will say "your password is incorrect"

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Try stick to something but fail in the end

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Just think about this. I do. What if we are all a character from The Sims and there is someone controlling us as their character and we never really did anything by our own choice. Creepy.

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after brushing my teeth I chew on the granules that are on my teeth

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Wonder what random strangers look like or noises and such they make while having sex. Everyone literally. People you interact with at work , customers, your boss, the married couple. Except for people who are like dirty looking af. Our just straight up ugly. Then your like grossed out by those thoughts your having and start getting that home sickfeeling in your stomach. Almost like butterflies but like dead ones or something. Hard to explain.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.