check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Click an invisible pen I think is in my hand but is not constantly everyday.

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Being so socially awkward that when you have a successful interaction with another human being, you play it in your head over and over again.

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Going through a lot of Deja Vu lately, it feels like you have another life before this one.

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When i'm home, I pretend i'm famous!

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See how fast and accurate i can use the fast forward on my dvr and applaud myself when i go full speed and stop 2 seconds before the show is back on.

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I want to hire a private investigator to follow a private investigator who was hired to follow the first investigator.

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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I can't trill my R's

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After reading some good posts here, I skipped to the last pages just to find out really sick people and stupid things.

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Not vote up my own posts? I bet I'm among the few..

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trying to piss after masturbation hurts.

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google search random thoughts you have to see if they pop up.

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Skip the first 3 minutes of "Free Bird" because it's too slow.

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I'm not a pessimist I'm a realist.

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I tilt my head back and eat grapes pretending like im a greek god

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I say a word and it feels like it didnt roll off of my tongue right, so I keep mouthing the word and saying it quietly to myself or in my head. Then end up saying it loudly in affirmation, possibly more than once.

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Imagine myself going back in time and giving my friends and family little hints on how their life will pan out.

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Take advantage of loud traffic to fart really hard.

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I imagine myself having a superpower that could make people see from my point of view. I would just have to lay a hand on them, and suddenly they would understand who I really am.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Always run up the stairs as if someone was chasing you.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.