When I see a 20th Century Fox movie, I always sing the intro.

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I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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Whenever there is a volume button on something i have to make sure its on a number 5 ie: 0,5,10,15

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see if I can hold my breath when walking down a long hallway

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Make up a song to yourself.

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push a fart out really slow so you think nobody will hear it

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When I'm home alone, I start hearing random noises and think someone is breaking in.

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When someone is really, really angry is telling me their story, I keep a straight face but I can't help mentally laughing my ass off because of their weird facial expressions. Sorry.

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Check behind the shower curtain for a killer.

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When you lie in bed and imagine scenarios that will never happen.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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close one eye or the other to move an object near by when I'm bored -Noel

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Change the channel when a Progressive commercial comes on because I can't STAND that stupid Flo girl.

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Blink and pretend that you just took a picture with your eyes.

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Scratching with the wife's/girlfriends hair brush.

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sit closer to the water so my poop isn't so loud..

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Playing hide-and-seek and finding the best spot ever, only to realize you have to pee

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When I'm alone I occasionally like to give a little hump to the air. Not for sexual reasons or anything, just because it feels right.

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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I have never watched Star Wars.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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check for spiders under the toilet seat before taking a dump

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.