I used to be the third most useless invention in the world, and now I am so sad, I mean I lost to a square wheel! Moral: On the bright side, ill never be as useless as Rustin Beaver.

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When you fart in class but try to cover it up by moving around so other people think it was just the chair squeaking.

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Laying alone in bed at night and then every single scary thought, face, image, movie, or whatever starts playing in your mind.

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I am Moral Man your friendly r*pist neighboorhood, what only I can do? I can steal, cheat, kill r*pe boys and girls, cats, not mouse heck I am no pervert either see? All this and I can still be... ...A SMOOTH CRIMINAL! AH! YAHOOW!

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When in a room by myself and I hear someone coming to walk into the room I'm in, I feel an overwhelming urge to hide behind the door so they don't see me first.

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When i get a back shiver. That's when i know something bad going to happen.

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when sleeping over at someone's house, make a cringing, weird looking face while opening the fridge in the middle of the night like somehow the look on your face will change the volume of the seal breaking open

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I'm a female. Sometimes I pee in the shower just so that I can try to aim my pee at the drain. This way I can imagine what it's like to pee with a doodle.

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Whenever I'm chewing on gum that has lost its flavor, I extract the gum from my mouth using my fingers before putting it back in so the flavor would return.

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When I wipe after taking a poo I always get excited when there is no extra poo to be wiped off...yea...don't judge

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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only turning the TV volume to numbers ending in 5

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When home alone, I put cans in front of the door so if someone breaks in, I wake up.

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I don't know why but I really wish I can ride a bike or drive a car through a shopping mall.

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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i have conversations in my head about showing someone some music and end up playing specific parts of various songs on my ipod and memorise the timings just in case it does happen

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I masturbate with sandpaper

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Hearing a noise and turning around to see if theres a monster in the room, and when you see nothing you think "hmm, he hides everytime I turn my head around." and then for the next minute you try to suddenly look back to see if you can catch it off guard.

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Boring car ride? Read every food & drinks rapper you can find .

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When Im going to sleep , I try to think of good things so I wont think of scary things

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Get the feeling that somebody is going to grab your foot when you walk by a bed in the dark...

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i pull for the chicken when peter and the chicken fight on family guy cause peter is a jackhole

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I keep on trying to imagine how long eternity is for when I go to Heaven. It never ends...

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something happens with a person that u were close to but then they become an asshole, u get mad, and when u stop talking feel really depressed even though u hate them

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.