If I have to put the garbage out at night I sprint back into the house so the monsters don't get me

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I think Lois Griffin on Family Guy is hot!

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When on long car rides through the mountains of Cali, look at a fence and pretend its a roller coaster and talk like im on it with a friend. And when the fence ends,name and rate it like it was real -Nirp

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Put toilet paper in the toilet before I'm going to take a shit, so that the toilet won't get dirty.

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I feel that there is something sinister going on in government

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When you don't have enough money for something, you just take a tiny bit of money from your siblings and parents room at a time so they don't notice any different

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Drink half the water in a water bottle and then swish it around pretending to drown little people inside it.

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Skip lines to read faster then get confused by everything for the next 10 pages.

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Trying to preform oral on yourself.... And failing.

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I like to sleep on the floor; my my cushion is too soft.

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At restaurants, eat my food in sections. Usually leafy greens, french fries, then steak/ whatever meat.

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I check behind the the shower curtin before I use the bathroom at night.

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Read this site's posts, think of something awesome to write but then forget it because you decided to read more and finish the page rather than write it immediately.

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cussing someone out on a video game only to realize that your mic is off

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Embarassingly repeatedly use of the word "bro" when irritated or excited.

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interview yourself over some amazing accomplishment you achieved like becoming the youngest emmy winner and pretending you're really humble.

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Think about what to say to the person you like and never actually say it .

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when you're texting in class and you realize you are staring at your crotch and smiling.

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Flexing your abs when you put on deodorant so you dont look fat

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Sometimes, I have a hard time looking people I know in the eyes but have no trouble looking strangers in the eyes. I wish I knew why. Help!

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I like to eat the crust on pizzas

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Sometimes I think ''Someone somewhere in the world just got slapped'' or ''Someone just took a nasty shit''.

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Eat ice by itself

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Look at every individual line on my hands and see if they are identicle

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.