When I tell human garbage that I am the Fallen Angel, they laugh at me, then I make them spontaneously combust. Moral: What moral whore?

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Pee in the shower

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Sometimes I'll say quotes from movies or TV shows out loud to myself.

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I have dreams that I am really rich and wake up to be thankful for my life just the way it is

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When you sit down to use the toilet, start, and then realize that the window is open and people can hear you.You then either search for something to mask the sound or proceed to relieve yourself by making as little noise as possible (ultimately failing)

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When I create a situation in my mind where someone is making me mad, then I actually get mad.

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Questioning why they make the Captcha's(spamblocker) SO hard to read

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When I drive I cut corners even at low speeds so that the people behind me think I am experienced race car driver.

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I read these not only for fun, but to feel in touch with my humanity.

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think that your whole life is just a dream and that you're going to wake up someday

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I have to keep reading website pages until I reached 5, 10, 15 etc. When I get close to my age though, I can finish there.

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I am such a coward. When I'm going to have an argument or complain to someone, I think of the beat ever retort, but when it comes down to it I say "why are you so mean" or " why don't you just leave me alone for once" or something like that. ( Yes I get picked on, cos I'm the smartest in our class)

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Writing/ Typing "wemon" to represent more than 1 women, but then realizing that it's not actually a word...

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I sometimes start moving my hands around "making them fight" pretending they are tiny fighters.

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I'm a man. When I'm watching a movie with my wife and it has a sad ending. I allways have to cry but moments before the actual end has come I allready start to snif my nose so that she thinks I have a cold and do not have to cry about the ending of the movie.

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Talk out loud so my brother can hear me because no one ever wrote that they can read your minds. And i want him to know ineed him in my life still so I randomly say things out loud to him on accident. People always look at me with hidden shock wide eyed.

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Look at just about ANYTHING you see in the context of a zombie apocalypse. Example: strategizing escape routes and barricade points while you're walking down the hallway in school, or looking at something ordinary, like a baseball bat, and thinking, 'I could bash some zombie brains with that'

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whenever i'm talking about someone, i constantly check my phone to make sure i haven't butt-dialed them and they're listening to everything i'm saying about them!

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read some comments here and wonder if people really do that

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Buy tons of movies and only watch them once. Rarely buy books and reread them a million times.

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Whenever someone dies I try to guess who will die next so I wont be as shocked

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When I'm in the shower, I'm afraid something might try to kill me so I shower with my glasses on.

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Saving some leftovers of your favorite food .... the next week its still there (:

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I rehearse arguments in my head.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.