Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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when someone is talking about something i have no idea of and then asked me if i agree I'm like: oh yes! and then promptly changing subject so they won't find out

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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i randomly grab my boobs when i'm home alone. like, all the time.

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When I walk the streets after getting a new haircut, I think everybody's staring at me and thinking "oh my god she got a new haircut" eventhough they didn't know me before.

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I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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Sometimes I wipe my butt so violently that my finger goes through the toilet paper and into my butt hole. I enjoy it and question my sexuality. ;)

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Agree with someones ridiculous political opinion just to avoid an argument.

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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When I see a typo ANYWHERE, I feel compelled to correct it, even if there is no possible way for me to correct it

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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While waiting on someone I check my phone and if there is no new message I just read old ones, just to be occupied and don't look stupid or lost

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.