I post morals under every one of my new comments. Moral: Duh, I am moral man ffs! What do you expect! Its awesome! If things go at this phase I will be a celebrity in... hmm... in never!

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See the person you like at school, have a quick random sexual thought about them, le random boner appears, and you flip out in your mind

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Make scary faces in the mirror and try to scare myself

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When one of those sad sappy abused dogs commercials comes on, you change the channel really fast to prevent from crying.

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I'll sing nice and loud in the shower and wonder why I haven't come out with an album yet

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Receiving or finding something cool in your dream, then waking up thinking you have it and realize you don't.

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Having a dream and forgetting it seconds later.

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Stuff 13 chips in my mouth when no one is looking, bite 1 chip in half and chew it for 30 seconds when someone is looking.

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Masturbate while waiting for a game to load.

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Check your analog watch, wait for it to strike a minute, then look away and try to count 60 seconds out in your head before you look again. However many seconds you were away is your new record.

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When I'm walking on a sidewalk, I try to step on each tile an even amount of times.

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instinctively thumb down long posts without reading them.

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Sometimes I wonder if the blue/green/red etc. I see is the same blue/green/red etc. you see

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When I am listening to my ipod in the car or on a bus, i always remove an earphone to check if i am breathing really loudly.

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When I am home alone and I hear something upstairs, I pretend my Dad is here and say really loudly, "Hey Dad! When are you going to your violent national wrestling match tonight?!"

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When you try to blur eyes and keep them like that when you look around the room.

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whenever I see those commercials where there is two people talking to each other but they constantly look at me it really irritates me

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Stick ur thumb between ur first and middle finger without realizing it

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I masturbate evenly with both hands so that my penis doesn't become crooked.

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ask my dog questions then realize, she can't talk...

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you know how everyone talks about making life decisions in the shower and thinking about life?.....yeah thats me on the toilet

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Find yourself alone at a party/gathering of some sort... Pretend to send a text to make people think you're not a loner.

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Sometimes I think and feel that I am the most voted man on Horsehead Network, I got no idea why. Moral the friendly r*pist: I dnt know what that means though... Or do I? ;)

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Flush the toilet before peeing to see if I can accomplish peeing before the water flushes away. :)

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.