I often think about how I am a thing inside of a body

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Emmy Jackson Y U ALWAYS ANGRY WHEN SOMEONE SAY HI

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Sometimes I think my shit smells delicious... and I cant believe I am actually not only typing it here, but "finally" admitting it to myself.

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While in bed, I cover my head with my bed sheets because it makes me feel safe from monsters.

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Criticize a porn novel for its poor use of the English language

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Looking at something suggestive on your computer and worrying that someone else in your family can see what you're doing on their computer.

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Turn the door knob while closing the door ...so it doesn't make a loud noise.

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When I'm watching a movie I have already seen I hope for a different ending but soon realize it won't happen

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When you had a crush on a girl in elementary school, then don't see her in middle school and think of how much of a bitch she was. Then You start crushing on her again in high school.

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pull out a flies wings and let it go

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Thinking about life as if its just a dream and wondeing if one day your just going to wake up and be like " wtf just happend".....

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I have autofocus in my eyes.

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Layer the water in the toilet with toilet paper, so when I poo the water does splash back up and splatter poo and water all over my bum

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When listening to a song with headphones or on the radio i sing the harmonies or make them while they sing the lead

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When I watch porn, I only watch like the first 5-10 minutes of it. To be honest I wonder why people bother making them longer too.

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Whenever you shave, you make sure you cut both ends of your moustache, leaving a small patch in the middle above your lips. Then you pretend to be Hitler ;)

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Watch scary movies even though your afraid of the dark.

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When I was little I used to cover myself all the way up and put pillows around me, then ask my sister if she could see me, trying to be invisible when I sleep just in case someone breaks into my house at night.

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I love myself, my wife, the threesomes, and I STILL spend time with you! Moral: Which must mean YOURE WINNER! AND STUFF! Either that or you are a sad fuck, cant argue...

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Run faster down hotel corridors.

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When posting these, I'm rarely able to read the words/letters in the box that prove you're human and not some computer virus. Now I'm starting to think I'm not a human......

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Intentionally utilize uncommon vocabulary to replace colloquial slang for the pure purpose of entertainment (for oneself). :D

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I piss in the bed every night

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Only one tissue left in the box... I'll just use toilet paper.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.