When you are outside, you see a small shadow moving across the ground. You think it's a ball someone threw, so you look up to catch it, only to realize it is a bird.

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masturbate as soon as the opportunity arrises. "You'll be home alone all day" "Ok, bye.....*fap fap fap*"

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A mix of Slenderman and Herobrine would be the ideal husband for me. >:)

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I sleep naked cauz It's dead sexy.

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That awkward moment when you thought the other person opened the door for you to go in first, when it was actually for that person.

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I chew my ice cream.

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I wonder what it wonder be like to have a really tall girlfriend?

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When you Saigon the couch and say "I am hungry" but then don't do anything because you are too lazy.

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Wash my hands after i use the toilet.

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Sing along to the radio in the car then stop at a red light when you realize other people can see you more easily.

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Sometimes when you're at work and you're REALLY horny, you look around at the women you work with and think who you really would like to bone, then on another particular day when you aren't horny, you see the same women and think to yourself " I must have REALLY been horny. What was I thinking?" lol (not trying to be gross, but honestly, who doesn't get horny while at work sometimes)

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When you have a stuffy nose, and you put tissue in one nostril so you can breathe.

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If someone tells me what I did when I was drinking and it's stupid or embarrassing I pretend I don't remember because I was too drunk.

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judge a spider on it's ability to hide from me and decide to let it survive if I consider it a clever hiding place, then get paranoid because the spider was smart.

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When I dont feel like sweeping I sweep the stuff under the fridge or something

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I'm in the middle of a good dream but I wake up and try to go back to sleep to finish it when it never happens.

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Learning a definition of a word and after that seeing it everywhere.

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When I can't find my phone so I panic and shearch everywhere only to find out it was in my pocket.

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freak out if poster or pictures eyes are looking at me and can't have pictures in my room of famous people, however if I'm out and scared i have to have the pictures on my phone look at me for safety.....really wondering if any one else has this

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You always go to the corner of the shower when the cold water is running.

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Imagine flying things and epic battles when listening to music.

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I can only play a piano with my right hand

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I love the We'll Be Right Back jingle on the Eric Andre show.

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Close all the windows on my computer when parents walk in.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.