When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

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When I walking the same direction as other people, I secretly race them and do the sports commentry in my head

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After masterbating, I wonder if my dead relatives can just see what I did?

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Sometimes cringe at the sound when other people scratch themselves

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So has anyone else ever been in the middle of doing something and at the exact moment something happens and you sort of wonder if it happened because of what you did.

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Sneeze for a few minutes when I've eaten too much.

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I can't piss with my shoes on.

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Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

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Having to poop in a certain way to avoid your ass sucking it in again. If it all comes out in one go, the cleaning becomes a lot easier and more satisfying.

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watch reality t.v. when you're feeling guilty and think to yourself "at least I'm not as bad as that"

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Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

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Sorry I posted last comment 3 times. And it is best ever not beat ever.

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I used to shower with my cat which struggles like hell, even though it loves getting fucking filthy, one day it even bit my dick. I still shower with my cat.

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I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I hate when my mom hangs my underwear on the clothesline outside.

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Wait until my friends are done eating lunch so I don't have to dump my tray alone.

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I have just one thing to say to all the women who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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After getting up from the grass, I use my foot to move the grass I was sitting on around so that there isn't a butt print in the grass.

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I like to lather my entire body with Nutella and put paper in my hands and stand there acting like a tree.

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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After going to the toilet to do a S#!* I will only sit on one cheek for the rest of the day until I bathe

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Sing every word to Bohemian Rhapsody every time you hear it in the most dramatic way possible.

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Make fun of someone for something. Then realize you do the same thing

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feel like your calculator is judging/making fun of you for looking up simple equations

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.