- Things You Think Only You Do

when your doing something or going somewhere you think didn't I already do this, like your back in time.

pull out a flies wings and let it go

Spend countless hours looking at cars online I know I'll never be able to afford

When I piss in the toilet (naw, naw in the microwave, god) I try to pee on one side so the bubbles spin around the flush to see if it keeps spinning

go to the search engine suggestions and see what people found, then type them in to see if you get the same results

fart and talk thinking it will cover the smell

pretend your on the phone talking to someone to make you look like you not a loner

You take showers on school morning because you like to stand there under the hot water just thinking about life while your warm

When i was little i used to see people's cars shaking and wondered why they were listening to a song that just goes "BOOM BOOM BOOM"

whenever someone pulls up beside you in another car, you are fully aware of them, but never look at them, your too cool to care what they look like.

see a old couple in the street and think," i wonder if he still bangs her" lol

start telling someone a story and then realize that i would only be funny if they actually saw it.

When I blow my nose I think I'm blowing my brains out and certain parts of things I learned at school are going into the tissue and will be forgotten forever.

expecting to get on this website to find something funny but instead finding crappy posts.

I use encryption even for everyday, routine communications because f*ck the NSA.

Wondering what would happen if you did something super random or inappropriate in a group setting. :)

When im alone i rub myself in vasaline and pretend that im a slug on the kitchen floor.

When I'm listening to a sad song that relates to my life while I'm walking all alone, I mouth the words and pretend I'm in a music video.

trying not to laugh when reading things that you do in "Things You Only Think You Do" in fear your parents will mistake your laughter as you fapping.

I Masturbate Daily.

I can't piss with my shoes on.

Before getting in the shower, staring at your naked body, thinking your sexy.

Go to bed at 9 am and then regret whole day is wasted

When Ive already talked to somebody , I think of things I couldve said to make the converstion better

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.