When peeing at a urinal, move my stream back and forth the coat as much of the wall as I can.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I think about fat women while poking my skinny girlfriend

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When you start wondering if you're in a dream and suddenly feel trapped

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whenever I get sweaty I put baby powder around my groin area and under arms. Ramos

thumb_up thumb_down -16

my solve media says spare is big but it was space is big

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Make a day of reading posts from Craiglist's Best-Of.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

When I take a shower, I screw with my iPod for a half an hour "Waiting for the water to warm up".

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I still hum songs that I made up when I was a little kid

thumb_up thumb_down -22

try to only take one step on each sidewalk square.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

sometimes I can be really tired but when I go to bed I lie there for hours awake

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Think of the most awkward or dreadful thing you could possibly do in any given situation and be almost compelled to do it but then realising that you could never show your face anywhere ever again if you did.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

When I am driving and I see another car being pulled over I think "Oh, so I am not the only one"

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I don't like just killing bugs in my home so what I do is I would catch them in a tissue and flush them down my toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Sometimes I look at security cameras and start to act suspiciously like I'm up to something... but really... I'm not.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Touch something dirty with one hand then wash it but then wash the other hand cause it feels weird when it's not wet like your other hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

CORRECTION, THINGS I KNOW ONLY I DO. OWN YOU ALL HAAAAAAAAAAAARD! Moral: DOUBLE FLAWLESS! EXPLOSION SOUND!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

When you're out for a run, you pretend that someone is chasing after you so you run harder.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Mouth words to people wearing headphones to try and get them to take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

have you ever thought of a relative when masturbating?

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Whenever I fart, I always smell it. But when other people fart, I don't want to smell it.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When I check into a hotel room I think about the countless number of sex acts that has been performed in there.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

When well dressed, someone ask me what I do for a living, I say nothing and watch the confused look come over their face.

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Think of someone you love while trying to fall asleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.