Being fat

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Walk down the street, listening to a song, singing it softly, then thinking 'I might wanna stop doing that before I look awkward', but the wires get crossed and you start singing LOUDER and so on.

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When a stripper sucks you so hard that the tip of your penis gets circumcised

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Sometimes I blow my nose on yesterday's socks because it is the closest thing to the bed in the morning and I'm too lazy to get up and go for a tissue. O_o

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as you walk down the street, you pretend that all of the people were zombies and you pretend you have a gun and give them headshots (even imitate the gunshot with your mouth) -MATT

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I have a phobia of incest

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get annoyed when people talk on the phone really loudly in front of the TV, forcing you to mute your show, resulting in you missing half of what the people are saying.

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How is it that celebrities no one likes keep popping up on shows everyone likes

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i always think people can hear my thoughts.

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I sometimes put posts not just of things I do but also of things I know other people do

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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never wanting to poop in other houses. You have to use your toilet

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When I see a post on this site with a single downvote I start to feel guilty and give the person an upvote because I feel sorry for them.

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I don't use my car air conditioning because I think it's wasteful and it might "run-out" when I'm REALLY, REALLY hot.

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Blow on your ice cream for no apparent reason before you eat it.

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I try to sympathize when some celebrity butthole has problems but, I can't.

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When I see someone who is clearly wealthy, I think to myself "I could do it better than you..."

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Use the toilet shower to wipe your a**, but denies the fact until death for your friends.

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To my comment below... Rest im peace MJ... Shhh! Mary Jane is resting!

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I like to eat tomato soup and peanut butter sandwiches...its not as gross as it sounds

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Peel my mandarin oranges in one try

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I pretend to get future messages. Like when I'm about to have a bad subject. I get a message from future me telling present me like 'Oh god. Yeah, brace yourself for science today.'

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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sitting in your room at night and making imagineary monters or random figures out of things in your room.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.