Lay between the wall and the bed when the bed is pefectly fine

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When I fart in public, I always pretend that nothing ever happened.

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I chuckle whenever I hear the phase "Stark raving mad." I don't know why.

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Sometimes I toot.

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Sometimes I won't do something just to see how long it takes before someone else does it (dishes, throw something away, fill the ice cube tray, etc.).

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Opening the fridge door, then trying to accomplish pouring a drink, before the door seals itself forever leaving the cola to the mercy of the outside world.

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Take nibbles whenever you get to the last piece of your burger to make it last longer.

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I cant ride a bike

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has a plastic bag full of plastic bags in your house

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Freak out at sudden noises when home alone at night.

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I sometimes go out of my way to make sure I have my iPhone with me in the bathroom while taking a poop.

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i put a empty pack of cigarettes under my pillow and hoped the cigarette fairy would come when i was asleep

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Taking the time to lick all of the cream off of the inside of an Oreo.

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eating a sandwich with strategically placed bites such that i get the same ratio of crust to tastier non-crust sandwich center in each bite. sometimes i just take two smaller bites of crust and center part so that i don't have to taste mostly bread crust in a mouthful.

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Whenever I fall over I always seem to think coherently throughout the fall about what can I do to make this less painful

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When I'm walking I look up at nothing in particular and it causes everyone else to look up too!

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Discovering your friend is an indian (Nicole)

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speak proper english

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Pretend animals talk to you!

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Sitting on toilet after pooping without wiping for longer than a minute because your in your phone.

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Become self-conscious and wonder if you were making faces while day dreaming during the middle of class.

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pretend you have a fishing pole and are reeling in cars to pass them when your in the passengers seat going down the freeway.

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Look at the least popular comments just out of interest

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Invented a special password for yourself in order to recognize yourself if travel through time.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.