I am 23 and I still wish the stalk will take back my younger brother

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When I'm riding passenger in a car, things I'm driving past will be a part of my imaginary drum kit. When a car passes in the opposite direction, I'll tap my right foot as the bass drum, a drain hole along the gutter is my left hand snare, and the street signs and lights are the hi-hats in my right hand.

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walking up steps in the dark and you think you've gotten to the top but there's actually one more step and you panic because you think your going to fall

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Hit the off button on the microwave three times to simulate the sound it makes when time is up.

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If I'm in the car looking for an address or a street name I'll turn down the radio. Why?

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Drum on the chair between your legs and wonder if people think that you're playing with yourself.

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Sleeping with one leg under the blanket and one out.

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Try to talk to my pet telepathically. - sky

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turn off the tv by accident and then turn it on only to find that it takes forever to work again

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Still record on VHS tapes.

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Sit on the back of the commode when at work to give yourself an impromptu break.

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Sometimes when I look in the mirror I act out a scene like Tyra banks coming up to me and asking me to be on America's next top model.

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Poo really loud

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Imagining yourself in the "Last Supper" scene. (in Jesus's spot matter of fact)

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When you are thinking, and you think about what you are thinking. You are automatically purposely thinking until you stop thinking about it. I am thinking about thinking about how I think right now. I think...

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I like wet humping better than f*cking. but sometimes it slips in anyway, and it's that's pretty enjoyable too. and mt girlfriend is cool with. ... so it's actualy pretty whatevs either way. but wet humping is my jam.

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Fantasize about taking over the world, and killing all religious people.

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Wondering how your funeral would play out if you die

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Somethings thinking: O God, I love this world.

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I kill Solid Snake and masturbate when the Game over screen keeps screaming for my own "snake" "Snake answer me! Snake SNAAAKE!" Me: Answer coming right up and out any moment now! fapfapfap

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Feeling very uncomfortable for days, untill your motivation finally reaches that point when you start learning for the exam.

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Sometimes when I'm all alone, I like to rub vasceline on myself and pretend I'm a slug.

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When you look in the mirror, and it ruins your whole day.

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(Men) When you have to poop and pee at the same time, you stand to pee, and THEN sit to poop. Just out of principle.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.