I think my friends are dumb! I love them so much!!

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I **** with no hands.

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IM 13 years old when i touch something i have a feeling and wont let me do anything until i touch it again or 4 times or sometimes even 16 times i cant live like this its weird!!!!

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I have minions that do what I want because pleasing me makes them happy. Moral: I control, the way you move, how do you like my grove zerg dude?

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Pretend my ski pole is a gun while I'm on the chair lift. Or just any object around when I'm not skiing.

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Read things from this page and think to self: "Thank God, I thought I was the only one."

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Take your laptop to the toilet with you, as a modern day equivalent of the newspaper.

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browse the internet at school and look at shit brix and the dog with the jesus butthole appears and the teacher saw and said what are you looking at? i was banned for the rest of the term. jesse footter

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sometimes i wonder how it would be to think in another language and i try but cant

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When I am in a bind and I know I need help I just say " I gott this" and things work out

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When i am home alone i think there are hidden cameras in my house and wave at objects that might conceal the camers to scare the people looking through them

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When I go to bed, I imagine how I would deal with intruders, then I can't sleep.

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At times I get the annoying habbit of counting the notes on a song on my fingers, again and again until it ends with five, if not, I keep doing it until it does so as to not leave a finger left out of the melody.

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Create the perfect song/poem/philosophical theory/scientific discovery right before you fall asleep and forget it in the morning.

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when you are on EXCEL file on your computer, you scroll down so far, that it goes to 1000

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Go to the same website two days in a row and then never again after that

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I always have to know exactly what time it is before I go to sleep, just so I can figure out exactly how many hours of sleep I will get.

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When watching television, I give people I don't like the finger

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I thought the 2013 film Frozen could have gone longer

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Have deja vu while talking to someone and then stop listening to what they are saying for a few seconds till the feeling passes, then nod like you have been listening the whole time.

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When im standing at a urinal and another guy was there before me and i still finish first i pretend like im still peeing so he wont think i have a bladder problem.

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Forget a seemingly simple word. Shout it out at random 3 days later...(don't tell me you don't do this)

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Sometime when I'm alone, I like to fill my bathtub with marinara sauce and pretend I'm a meatball.

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When you're in a public place, make up conversations between strangers. Example: Man to wife: Let's get out of here. There's no place to sit. Wife to man: Honey, we just got here. Man to wife: Maybe you didn't understand, Martha. There's no place to sit.

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Things You Think Only You Do

A collection of things you think only you do. Go ahead and confess. You probably aren't the only one.